NSFW: African-American Adoption (VIDEO)

*Careful* there is bad language ahead.


How Not To Adopt a Child From Africa - Watch more free videos

Seeing Eye Dog (PICS)

The Hardest Part About Being A Seeing-Eye Dog Is . . .

Oil Solutions (PICS)

OPEC is selling oil for over $135.00 a barrel.

OPEC nations buy U.S. grain at $7.00 a bushel.

Solution: Sell grain for $135.00 a bushel.

Can't buy it. Tough. Eat your oil.

High School Reunion

My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion. I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table.

My wife asked, 'Do you know her?'

'Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I Understand she took to drinking right after we split up and I hear she hasn't been sober since'

'My Goodness!' said my wife, 'Who would think that a person could go on celebrating that long?'

Tax Refund (Powerpoint)

Click the link below to download and view. The is funny as heck!

http://www.box.net/shared/53dysplsgw

Friends (PICS)

Friends are like balloons.
Once you let them go, you can't get them back.
So I'm gonna tie you to my heart so I never lose you.
Send these balloons to your friends.
You may also return it to me.
If four balloons are returned to you,
something you have been waiting for a long time will happen!!!!
Believe me... It really happens!

The Man Of The House

The husband had just finished reading a new book entitled 'YOU CAN BE THE MAN OF YOUR HOUSE.'

He went to his wife in the kitchen and announced, 'From now on, you need to know that I am the man of this house, and my word is Law.'

You will prepare me a gourmet meal tonight and when I'm finished eating my meal, you will serve me a sumptuous dessert.

After dinner, you are going to go upstairs with me, and we will have the kind of sex that I want.

Afterwards, you are going to draw me a bath so I can relax. You will wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe.

Then, you will massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who's going to dress me and comb my hair?

The wife replied, 'The Fuckin' funeral director would be my first guess.'

Why Women Hate Sports (VIDEO)

Men's Restroom Mural (PICS)

(Send your junk mail to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Edge Designs is an all-women run company that designs interior office space. They had a recent opportunity to do an office project in NYC.

The client allowed the women of this company a free hand in all design aspects. The client was a company that was also run by all women execs.

We all know that men never talk, never look at each other and never laugh much in the restroom. The men's room is a serious and quiet place. But now with the addition of one mural on the wall lets just say the men's restroom is a place of laughter and smiles.

Learn To Pay Attention

First-year students at Texas A&M's Vet school were receiving their first anatomy class, with a real dead cow. They all gathered around the surgery table with the body covered with a white sheet. The professor started the class by telling them, 'In Veterinary Medicine it is necessary to have two important qualities as a
doctor: The first is that you not be disgusted by anything involving the animal body.' For an example, the Professor pulled back the sheet, stuck his finger in the butt of the dead cow, withdrew it and stuck his finger in his mouth.

'Go a head and do the same thing,' he told his students. The students freak ed out, hesitated for several minutes, but eventually took turns sticking a finger in the anal opening of the dead cow and sucking on it.

When everyone finished, the Professor looked at them and said, 'The second most important quality is observation. I stuck in my middle finger and sucked on my index finger. Now learn to pay attention. Life's tough; it's even tougher if you're stupid.'

Guess The Spot (LINK)

There are 16 photos of world landmarks taken from above. Your challenge is to identify them by selecting one of four choices. Click on the link below.

http://www.guessthespot.com

From The Sky (PowerPoint)

(Special Thanks to Fran M. for sending me this junk mail. Send yours to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Here is a collection of pictures taken from high above. Beautiful! Click the link below to download the file to view.

http://www.box.net/shared/9urslgnk0w

Michelangelo's David (PICS)

(Send you junk mail to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Michelangelo's famous statue, David, has returned to Italy this week after an amazingly successful 12 week, 20 city, US tour which was sponsored by McDonalds.

NSFW: Monkey F%$king (VIDEO)

Although what happens in this video can be seen on National Geographic, what is said might be NSFW. Turn up your speaker and prepare to laugh.

Skydiving Grandma (VIDEO)

Watch closely at her teeth.

My Piggy Bank After Getting Gas (PICS)

Why Women Should Not Take Their Husbands Shopping

After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Wal-Mart. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out.

Equally unfortunately, my wife is like most women - she loved to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Wal-Mart.

Dear Mrs. Samsel,

Over the past six months, your husband has been causing quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against Mr. Samsel are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.

2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.

3. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice, 'Code 3 in Housewares. Get on it right away.'

4. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&M's on layaway.

5. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.

6. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department.

7. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?'

8. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose.

9. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were.

10. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme.

11. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' by using different sizes of funnels.

12. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and wh en people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'

13. October 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'

And last, but not least.

14. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.'

Regards,
Tom Richards
Wal-Mart Manager

Ugly Blue Pants (PICS)

(Send your Junk Mail to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

I was at Wal*Mart and I saw this guy wearing these ugly blue pants. I just had to show you...Can you believe it!

Vote Weepublican (PICS)

Note from Charles (the guy who runs this site): I try not the post political, too sexy or religious junk mails on this site since I don't want piss anyone off, but this post was too cute.

(Send your junk mail to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Click image to make bigger.

Little Johnny In Class Again (PICS)

It was Friday morning, and that meant it was time for an activity that the teacher called 'add to the picture'. The teacher would call students to the chalkboard one at a time. The first student would draw an object on the chalkboard, and each following student would add something to the picture to make it a new picture.

The teacher called on James to start things off.



James returned to his seat.

The teacher called on Ernie next.



Ernie returned to his seat.
Now it was Suzy's turn.



Suzy returned to her seat.

Next, the teacher called Jerry to the board.



Jerry returned to his seat.

Kim was called to the board.



Kim returned to her seat.

About this time, little Johnny began waving his arm hysterically. Little Johnny was well known for being off center, so the teacher was reluctant to call on him for anything. But as the teacher looked at the picture on the chalkboard, she thought that there was no way that little Johnny could possibly do anything to make this picture dirty. So she called on little Johnny, and he ran to the chalkboard.



The entire class erupted with laughter... the Teacher fainted.

Little Johnny In Class

(Special Thanks to Chadd E. for sending this junk mail. Send yours to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

A grade school teacher in Kentucky asked her students to use the word 'fascinate' in a sentence.

Molly put up her hand and said, 'My family went to my granddad's farm, and we all saw his pet sheep.. It was fascinating.'

The teacher said, 'That was good, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate,' not 'fascinating.'

Sally raised her hand. She said, 'My family went to see Rock City, and I was fascinated.'

The teacher said, 'Well, that was good Sally, but I wanted you to use the word 'fascinate.'

Little Johnny raised his hand. The teacher hesitated because she had been burned by Little Johnny before. She finally decided there was no way he could damage the word 'fascinate,' so she called on him.
Little Johnny said, 'My aunt Gina has a sweater with ten buttons, but her tits are so big she can only fasten eight'

The teacher sat down and cried.

This Bull Mated... (PICS and JOKE)

(Send your junk mail to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

My wife and I went to the state fair and one of the first exhibits we stopped at was the breeding bulls. We went up to the first pen and there was a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 50 TIMES LAST YEAR'



My wife playfully nudged me in the ribs, smiled and said, 'He mated 50 times last year.'

We walked to the second pen which had a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 150 TIMES LAST YEAR'



My wife gave me a healthy jab and said, 'WOW! That's more than twice a week! You could learn a lot from him.'

We walked to the third pen and it had a sign attached that said, 'THIS BULL MATED 365 TIMES LAST YEAR'



My wife was so excited that her elbow nearly broke my ribs, and said,
'That's once a day. You could REALLY learn something from this one.'

I looked at her and said, 'Go over and ask him if it was with the same old cow.'



My condition has been upgraded from critical to stable and I should eventually make a full recovery.

Devil's Swimming Pool (PICS)

Zimbabwe , Africa, you will find the magnificent Victoria Falls at a height of 128m. The location is known as "The Devil's Swimming Pool".

During the months of September and December, people can swim as close as possible to the edge of the falls without falling over!

These falls are becoming well known amongst the "radical tourist" industry as more and more people search for the ultimate experience.

Would you dare? HELL NO!

Click image to make bigger.

Fighting Depression (PICS)

I was depressed last night so I called Lifeline.

Got a call center in Pakistan.

I told them I was suicidal.

They got all excited and asked if I could drive a truck.

Why Some Women Can't Fix Cars (PICS)

(Special Thanks to Nick M. for sending me this junk mail. Send yours to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Click image to make bigger. Her boobs will still be the same size though!

Cancel Your Credit Cards Before You Die

A lady died this past January, and Citibank billed her for February and March for their annual service charges on her credit card, and added late fees and interest on th e monthly charge. The balance had been $0.00 when she died, but now somewhere around $60.00. A family member placed a call to Citibank.

Here is the exchange :

Family Member: 'I am calling to tell you she died back in January.'

Citibank : 'The account was never closed and the late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member : 'Maybe, you should turn it over to collections.'

Citibank : 'Since it is two months past due, it already has been.'

Family Member : So, what will they do when they find out she is dead?'

Citibank : 'Either report her account to frauds division or report her to the credit bureau, maybe both!'

Family Member : 'Do you think God will be mad at her?'

Citibank: 'Excuse me?'

Family Member : 'Did you just get what I was telling you - t he part about her being dead?'

Citibank : 'Sir, you'll have to speak to my supervisor.'

Supervisor gets on the phone:

Family Member : 'I'm calling to tell you, she died back in January with a $0 balance.'

Citibank : 'The account was never closed and late fees and charges still apply.'

Family Member : 'You mean you want to collect from her estate?'

Citibank : (Stammer) 'Are you her lawyer?'

Family Member : 'No, I'm her great nephew.' (Lawyer info was given)

Citibank: 'Could you fax us a certificate of death?'

Family Member : 'Sure.' (Fax number was given )

After they get the fax:

Citibank : 'Our system just isn't setup for death. I don't know what more I can do to help.'

Family Member : 'Well, if you figure it out, great! If not, you could just keep billing her. She won't care.'

Citibank: 'Well, the late fees and charges do still apply.' (What is wrong with these people?!?)

Family Member : 'Would you like her new billing address?'

Citibank : 'That might help.'

Family Member : ' Odessa Memorial Cemetery , Highway 129, Plotumber 69.'

Citibank : 'Sir, that's a cemetery !'

Family Member : 'And what do you do with dead people on your planet???

Popping Corn With Cell Phones (VIDEO)

This video is in French, but you get the point.



Here is what Snopes.com says about this:

http://www.snopes.com/science/cookegg.asp

Your First Kiss (PICS)

It's your First Kiss and several questions might come to mind:

Is it the right time?

Is anyone watching?

Does your partner even want to?

Is your breath fresh?

AND,---Should you use some tongue?

Then you say . . ..

'What the heck!' Just Go for it!!!


This must be a 2nd or 3rd child... because Mom grabbed the camera and not the kid!

Three Women

Three women: one engaged, one married and one a mistress, are chatting about their relationships and decided to amaze their men. That night all three will wear black leather bras, stiletto heels and a mask over their eyes.

After a few days they meet up for lunch.

The engaged woman: The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, 'You are the woman of my life. I love you.' Then we made love all night long.

The mistress: Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing the leather bodice, heels, mask over my eyes and a raincoat. When I opened the raincoat he didn't say a word, but we had wild sex all night.

The married woman: I sent the kids to stay at my mother's house for the night. When my husband came home I was wearing the leather bodice, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. As soon as he came in the door and saw me he said, 'What's for dinner, Batman?'

How To Tell You Are Not Mom's Favorite (PICS)

(Send your junk mail to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Yeah, this bird is getting the short end of the stick from mom.

Bird And Cat (PICS)

(Special Thanks to Fran M. for sending me this junk mail. Send your to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Check out these pictures of this kitty and bird. Nice to know natural enemies can co-exist.

Click image to make bigger.

I D ten T Error

(Special Thanks to Fran M. for sending me this junk mail. Send yours to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Eric, the 11 year old next door, whose bedroom looks like Mission Control and asked him to come over. Eric clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

As he was walking away, I called after him, 'So, what was wrong? He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."

I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that? In case I need to fix it again."

Eric grinned... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"

"No," I replied.

"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."

So I wrote down: I D 1 0 T

I used to like Eric...

Garfield: Listen To Me You F&^king Cat (PICS)

Somehow I don't think this was in the Sunday paper!

Click image to make bigger.

Little Johnny At The Playground

Little Johnny watched his Daddy's car pass by the school playground and go into the woods. Curious, he followed the car and saw Daddy and Aunt Jane in a passionate embrace.

Little Johnny found this so exciting that he could hardly contain himself as he ran home and started to tell his mother.

'Mommy, I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to Look and he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, and then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane...'

At this point Mommy cut him off and said, 'Johnny, this is such an interesting story, suppose you save the rest of it for supper time. I want to see the look on Daddy's face when you tell it tonight.'

At the dinner table that evening, Mommy asked little Johnny to tell his story. Johnny started his story, 'I was at the playground and I saw Daddy's car go into the woods with Aunt Jane. I went back to look an d he was giving Aunt Jane a big kiss, then he helped her take off her shirt. Then Aunt Jane helped Daddy take his pants off, then Aunt Jane and Daddy started doing the same thing that Mommy and Uncle Bill used to do when Daddy was in the Army.'

Mommy fainted!

Moral: Sometimes you need to listen to the whole story Before you interrupt!

Ceiling Mural In Smoker's Lounge (PICS)

(Special Thanks to Fran M. for sending me this junk mail. Send yours to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Yeah, this would probably make me put out my cigarette too.

Click image to make bigger.

Portugal Barn (PICS)

(Special Thanks to Fran M. for sending me this junk mail. Send your to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com today!)

(This junk email was feature on Snopes.com. You can read about it here.)

A recently retired New York man wanted to use his retirement funds wisely, decided to buy a home and a few acres in Portugal.

The modest farmhouse had been vacant for 15 years; the owner and wife both had died, and there were no heirs.

The estate was being sold to pay back taxes. There had been several lookers, but the large barn had steel doors, and they had been welded shut. No one wanted to go to the extra expense to see what was in the barn, and it wasn't complimentary to the property anyway... so, no one made an offer on the place.

The New York gentleman bought it as is, paying just over half of the property's worth; moved in, and set about to access the barn... curiosity was killing him.

So, he and his wife bought a generator and a couple of grinders... and cut thru the welds.

What was in the barn...?

The Barn


The doors were welded shut, but a grinder took care of that.


A warehouse full of vintage high performance cars!!!


Aston Martin?


Porsche 356, Austin Healey Sprite MkII, Volvo PV 544, Ford Y?


Giulietta Sprint, Giulia Sprint Speciale (SS), Nash Metropolitan.


Alfa Giulietta, Lotus Europa, another Lotus Elan FHC, Matra Djet?


Lancia Flaminia Coup


Abarth 1300 Scorpione


American (inspired) design


Interior of Alfa Romeo


Lancia Flaminia Coup, Peugeot 504 cabriolet & 404 cabriolet.


Mini, Alfa 1900 Super Sprint, Balilla


Fiat Topolino II, Triumph TR4, Peugeot 202


BMW V8, Formula racers, Chryslers, Mercedes, Austin A30


Formula racers, Chryslers, Mercedes, Austin A30


Amazing! Total value of all vehicles over 35 Million!

The man and his wife had full title to the complete lot of vehicles.

They're having a great retirement!