Do You Have A Big Deck?

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Can You Do This?

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Never Argue...

One morning the husband returns after several hours of fishing and decides to take a nap. Although not familiar with the lake, the wife decides to take the boat out. She motors out a short distance, anchors, and reads her book.

Along comes a Game Warden in his boat. He pulls up alongside the woman and says, "Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading a book," she replies, (thinking, "Isn't that obvious?")
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her
"I'm sorry, officer, but I'm not fishing. I'm reading"
"Yes, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment. I'll have to take you in and write you up."
"For reading a book," she replies,
"You're in a Restricted Fishing Area," he informs her again,
"If you do that, I'll have to charge you with sexual assault," says the woman.
"But I haven't even touched you," says the game warden.
"That's true, but you have all the equipment. For all I know you could start at any moment."
"Have a nice day ma'am," and he left.

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who reads. It's likely she can also think.

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Poems

A WOMAN'S POEM
Before I lay me down to sleep,
I pray for a man who's not a creep
One who's handsome, smart and strong
One who loves to listen long
One who thinks before he speaks
One who'll call, not wait for weeks
I pray he's gainfully employed
When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed
Pulls out my chair and opens my door
Massages my back and begs to do more
Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind
Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'
I pray that this man will love me to no end
And always be my very best friend

A MAN'S POEM:
I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs who owns a bar on a golf course, and loves to send me fishing and drinking. This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a shit. The End

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Question You Don't Get Too Often

Now there's a question you don't get too often... A woman is at home when she hears someone knock at the door.

She goes to the door and opens the door to see a man standing there.

He asks the lady 'Do you have a vagina?'.

She slams the door in disgust..

The next morning she hears a knock at the door and it is the same man and he asks the same question of the woman 'Do you have a vagina'.

She slams the door again.

Later that night when her husband gets home she tells him what has happened for the last two days.

The husband tells the wife in a loving and concerned voice 'Honey I am taking tomorrow off to be home just in case this guy shows up again'.

The next morning they hear a knock at the door and both run for the door.

The husband says to the wife in a whispered voice 'Honey, I'm going to hide behind the door and listen and if it is the same guy I want you to answer yes to the question because I want to see where he is going with it'.

She nods yes to her husband and opens the door.

Sure enough the same fellow is standing there and asks the same question.

'Do you have vagina?"'...'Yes' she says...

The man replies, 'Good! Would you mind telling your husband to leave my wife's alone and start using yours'?

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What Happened In Vegas

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Miscommunication

A co-worker got a pen stuck inside our printer. He started to try and remove the pen, but I told him we don't have time for that now, just put a note on the printer telling folks not to use it and then report it to the Help Desk.

So he grabbed a piece of paper and scrawled on it. I left before he finished the note.

About 20 minutes later, one of my techs comes in laughing and says he was just in the lobby, saw a piece of paper on a printer and went to investigate.

Attached is what he found. Sometimes things don't always come out the way you want them to...



Now that you've smiled at least once, it's your turn to spread the stupidity and send this to someone you want to bring a smile to (maybe even a chuckle)... in other words, send it to everyone. We all need to smile every once in a while.

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R.I.P. Cara - I will always love you.

On Mondy, May 25th, my little girl, Cara, passed away after a year and a half bout with cancer and copper storage disease. She was 12 years old and the greatest present I ever received.

When I was 21 (I'm now 33), my little dog Ali passed away and I was very depressed. Unknown to me, my mother was talking to her friend Marianne whom I bought Ali from. Marianne and my mom showed and breed English Cocker Spaniels. The reason I mentioned that is Marianne phoned Jeanie who own one of Ali's puppies. The puppy she owned was now 9 years.

Jeanie breed Ali's puppy and there was a chance she would not get pregnant being that old. Thankfully, she did get pregnant and had a few puppies. There was 1 female in the litter and that was Cara.

One night my mother and brother said they had to go out. When they returned home, they had Cara. They were toweling her off after giving her a bath, since she was filthy from her plane ride, when I walked into the dog room and I saw her.

She didn't pay any attention to my mother or my brother, but when she saw me she ran out of their arms and right into mine. I broke down into tears. She looked "exactly" like Ali right down to the little white spot on her head and had the same cute personality. We were best friends right from the start.

That night, something wonderful happened in my life and I will always be grateful to my mother, brother, Marianne and Jeanie for what they did for me.

Rest in peace my little girl. I will always love you and will miss you very much.

Love Always,

Charles Petruzzi

UPDATE: My brother, Tony, posted a dedication to Cara as well on his blog. Click here to visit Rip's Domain.

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Medical Advances

An Israeli doctor said to a medical conference, "Medicine in my country is so advanced, we can take a kidney out of one person, put it into another and have him looking for work in six weeks!"

The German doctor stood up and said, "well medicine in my county is so advanced, we can take a lung out of one person and put it into another and have him looking for work on 4 weeks"

The Russian doctor got up and said "My country is even more advanced, we can remove half a heart from one person, put it into another and have them both looking for work in just 2 weeks!"

Not to be outdone, the American doctor stood up and addressed the conference, "Well" he said "My country is so far advanced in medicine, we can take an Asshole out of Chicago , put him in the White House, and have half the country looking for work in 24 hours!"

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Who Says Women Can't Parallel Park?

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More Motivational Posters

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Nookie Green

An Irish man went to confession in St. Patrick's Catholic Church.

'Father', he confessed, 'it has been one month since my last confession. I had sex with Nookie Green twice last month.'

The priest told the sinner, 'You are forgiven. Go out and say three Hail Marys.'

Soon thereafter, another Irish man entered the confessional. 'Father, it has been two months since my last confession. I've had sex with Nookie Green twice a week for the past two months.'

This time, the priest questioned, 'Who is this Nookie Green?'

'A new woman in the neighborhood,' the sinner replied.

'Very well,' sighed the priest. Go and say ten Hail Marys.;

At mass the next morning, as the priest prepared to deliver the sermon, a tall,voluptuous, drop-dead gorgeous redheaded woman entered the sanctuary. The eyes of every man in the church fell upon her as she slowly sashayed up the aisle and sat down right in front of the priest. Her dress was green and very short, and she wore matching, shiny emerald-green shoes.

The priest and the altar boy gasped as the woman in the green dress and matching green shoes sat with her legs spread slightly apart... just enough to reveal that she wasn't wearing any underwear.

The priest turned to the altar boy and whispered, 'Is that Nookie Green?'

The bug-eyed altar boy couldn't believe his ears but managed to calmly reply, 'No Father, I think it's just a reflection from her shoes'.

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Ferrari 360 Crash

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Sleeping Walking Dog FAIL

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Look What I Caught Fishing

Here is a fish story, for the great hunters.

Caught 1-1/2 miles offshore while fishing! (after the fires in Southern California)
Look what the fires brought!

What is that?! Look in the middle.


Can it be, really!!! Look 1/3 down.


It's a DEER!!! Son of a gun!!!


Not too much of a struggle? Poor guy!!!


He was very glad to be on board. No doubt!!!


He was sooo tired and was glad to get into our boat and rest! And yes, we turned her loose when we got back to shore. Just try beating this Fish Story!

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Bailout Mascot

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Obituary...The Passing Of Common Sense

(Special Thanks to Janet for sending me this junk mail. Send yours to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

Today we mourn the passing of a beloved old friend, Common Sense, who has been with us for many years. No one knows for sure how old he was, since his birth records were long ago lost in bureaucratic red tape. He will be remembered as having cultivated such valuable lessons as:

- Knowing when to come in out of the rain
- Why the early bird gets the worm
- Life isn't always fair
- Maybe it was my fault

Common Sense lived by simple, sound financial policies...don't spend more than you earn and reliable strategies...adults, not children, are in charge.

His health began to deteriorate rapidly when well-intentioned but overbearing regulations were set in place. Reports of a 6-year-old boy charged with sexual harassment for kissing a classmate, teens suspended from school for using mouthwash after lunch and a teacher fired for reprimanding an unruly student, only worsened his condition.

Common Sense lost ground when parents attacked teachers for doing the job that they themselves had failed to do in disciplining their unruly children. It declined even further when schools were required to get parental consent to administer sunscreen or an aspirin to a student, but could not inform parents when a student became pregnant and wanted to have an abortion.

Common Sense lost the will to live as the churches became businesses and criminals received better treatment than their victims. Common Sense took a beating when you couldn't defend yourself from a burglar in your own home and the burglar could sue you for assault.

Common Sense finally gave up the will to live, after a woman failed to realize that a steaming cup of coffee was hot. She spilled a little in her lap and was promptly awarded a huge settlement. Common Sense was preceded in death, by his parents, Truth and Trust, by his wife, Discretion, by his daughter, Responsibility and by his son, Reason.

He is survived by his 4 stepbrothers... I Know My Rights, I Want It Now, Someone Else Is To Blame and I'm A Victim.

Not many attended his funeral because so few realized he was gone.

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Husband And Wife Night Out Permission Forms

(Special Thanks to my buddy Kerrie for send me this junk mail. Send yours to myjunkmailblog@gmail.com)

These are funny as heck. Click the link to download the PDF.

Husband Night Out Permission Form
http://www.box.net/shared/06pk0xj6c8

Wife Night Out Permission Form
http://www.box.net/shared/e28oj4ehly

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Bailout

Its important in life to reach out, to strive for greater achievements, to go for that greener grass that is on the other side of the fence.

But one must also be careful.



Sometimes you can reach too far!

But when you find yourself over-extended and you're stuck in a situation that you can't get out of, there is one thing you should always remember...

Your government...

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Conversation

WIFE: What would you do if I died? Would you get married again?

HUSBAND: Definitely not!

WIFE: Why not - don't you like being married?

HUSBAND: Of course I do.

WIFE: Then why wouldn't you remarry?

HUSBAND: Okay, I'd get married again.

WIFE: You would? (With a hurtful look on her face)

HUSBAND: (Makes audible groan)

WIFE: Would you live in our house?

HUSBAND: Sure, it's a great house.

WIFE: Would you sleep with her in our bed?

HUSBAND: Where else would we sleep?

WIFE: Would you let her drive my car?

HUSBAND: Probably, it is almost new.

WIFE: Would you replace my pictures with hers?

HUSBAND: That would seem like the proper thing to do.

WIFE: Would she use my golf clubs?

HUSBAND: No, she's left-handed.

WIFE: - silence -

HUSBAND: Shit...

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New T-Shirt

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Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's party..

Jack is not normally a big drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party.

As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house.

He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: 'Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight..I love you, darling! Love, Jillian'

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper.

His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, 'Son. what happened last night?'

'Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind you fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.'

Confused, he asked his son, 'So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??'

His son replies, 'Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone bitch, I'm married!!'

Broken Coffee Table $239.99
Hot Breakfast $4.20
Two Aspirins $.38
Saying the right thing, at the right time: PRICELESS

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99 Things You Should Have Seen On The Internet

Hi Everyone, Charles here, the man behind My Junk Mail. Usually on Fridays I try to post at least 3 posts, since it's the end of the week and I know you could use a few more laughs then usual. Anyway, today (Friday) I'm only posting 1 very, very, very long post that I think will keep you busy and catch you up on what you've missed on the internet. So, get clicking.

01) Grape Stomp


02) Charlie Bit Me


03) Chocolate Rain


04) Dancing Baby


05) Post Secret


06) Charlie The Unicorn


07) Mentos and Diet Coke


08) Numa Numa


09) Peanut Butter Jelly Time


10) George Lucas In Love


11) You're The Man Now Dog


12) Yatta


13) Star Wars Kid


14) Bubb Rubb


15) The Flying Spaghetti Monster


16) Dramatic Chipmunk


17) Homestar Runner


18) GI Joe Pork Chop Sandwiches


19) Fail Blog


20) Skateboarding Dog


21) All Your Base Are Belong To Us


22) Winnebago Man


23) We Like The Moon


24) I Can Has Cheezburger


25) Barney Vs. Tupac


26) Shining


27) Cute Overload


28) Rick Roll


29) Lazy Sunday


30) David After The Dentist


31) Powerthirst


32) Christian The Lion


33) Bert and Ernie Rap


34) Lady Punch


35) Leprechaun in Alabama


36) Where The Hell Is Matt


37) Boom Goes The Dynamite


38) Breakdancing Baby


39) Drunk Jeff Goldblum


40) Scarlet Takes A Tumble


41) Sepultura - Refuse resist (cover) By Gauchos


42) Gay Mount Everest


43) Afro Ninja


44) Cop Shoots Himself In Leg In Classroom


45) Tron Guy


46) "Leave Britney Alone"


47) Laughing Baby


48) I'm the Juggernaut Bitch


49) The Chairperson Falls


50) Take On Me The Literal Version


51) Bill O'Reilly Flips Out


52) Don't Tase Me Bro


53) The Landlord


54) Breakdancing Baby Kick


55) The Pet Penguin


56) Ms. South Carolina Answers A Question


57) I'm F*#king Matt Damon


58) Will It Blend


59) Spaghetti Cat


60) Tom Cruise Kills Oprah


61) Tom Cruise Scientology Video


62) Chad Vader


63) Pretty Much Everywhere It's Going To Be Hot


64) I Like Turtles


65) Who Needs A Movie


66) Jake E. Lee Shreds


67) Hawaii Chair


68) Aussie Party


69) Hitler Plans Burning Man


70) Flirting with Magic


71) Look At The Horse


72) Asian Backstreet Boys


73) Leroy Jenkins


74) Pinky The Cat


75) Monkey Sniffs Finger


76) Sneezing Panda


77) Prison Inmates remake "Thriller"


78) Techno Viking


79) Ask A Ninja


80) Best Man Trips and Ruins Wedding


81) Best Wedding Toast Ever (Amy's Song)


82) Kitten Surprise (how to break up a cat fight)


83) Katana Sword Infomercial Goes Wrong


84) Matrix Ping Pong


85) La Pequeña Prohibida


86) Angry German Kid (translated)


87) Evolution of Dance


88) Ok Go – "Here It Goes Again"


89) Battle at Kruger (lions vs. buffalos vs. crocodiles)


90) Daft Hands


91) Human Beatbox


92) Most T-Shirts Worn At Once


93) Zero G Dog


94) Cuppy Cakes Song


95) George Washington


96) Scary Maze Prank


97) Gay Referee


98) Tranquilized Bear Hits Trampoline


99) Reporter Gets A Fly In The Mouth

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How A Marriage Works

A newlywed couple had only been married for two weeks. The husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on the town and party with his old buddies

So, he said to his new wife, 'Honey, I'll be right back.'

'Where are you going, coochy cooh?' asked the wife.

'I'm going to the bar, pretty face. I'm going to have a beer.'

The wife said, 'You want a beer, my love?'

She opened the door to the refrigerator and showed him 25 different kinds of beer brands from 12 different countries: Germany, Holland, Japan, India, etc.

The husband didn't know what to do, and the only thing that he could think of saying was, 'Yes, lolly pop...but at the bar...you know...they have frozen glasses...'

He didn't get to finish the sentence, because the wife interrupted him by saying, 'You want a frozen glass, puppy face?' She took a huge beer mug out of the freezer, so frozen that she was getting chills just holding it.

The husband, looking a bit pale, said, 'Yes, tootsie roll, but at the
Bar they have those hors d'oeuvres that are really delicious... I won't be long, I'll be right back. I promise. OK?'

You want hors d'oeuvres, poochi pooh?' She opened the oven and took out 5 dishes of different hors d'oeuvres: chicken wings, pigs in blankets, mushroom caps, pork strips, etc.

'But my sweet honey... At the bar... You know...there's swearing, dirty words and all that...'

'You want dirty words, Dickhead? Drink your fucking beer in your Goddamn frozen mug and eat your mother fucking snacks, because you are Married now, and you aren't fucking going anywhere! Got it, Asshole?'

........and, they lived happily ever after.

Now, isn't that a sweet story?

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The Man Rules

At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

Finally , the guys' side of the story. We always hear "the rules" from the female side.

Now here are the rules from the male side.

These are our rules! Please note..these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers. (FIRST & FOREMOST RULE)

1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports, It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have noidea what mauve is.

1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...Really.

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as Football or Hockey.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

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Divorce Barbie

The Divorced Barbie Doll

One day a father gets out of work and on his way home he suddenly remembers his daughter's Christmas gift. He stops by a Toy Shop and asks the sales person, 'How much for one of those Barbies in the display window?'

The salesperson answers, 'Which one do you mean, Sir? We have: Work Out Barbie for $19.95, Shopping Barbie for $19.95, Beach Barbie for $19.95, Disco Barbie for $19.95, Ballerina Barbie for $19.95, Astronaut Barbie for 19.95, Skater Barbie for $19.95, and Divorced Barbie for $265.95.'

The amazed father asks: 'It's what?! Why is the Divorced Barbie $265.95 and the others only $19.95?'

The annoyed salesperson rolls her eyes, sighs, and answers:

"Sir..., Divorced Barbie comes with: Ken's Car, Ken's House, Ken's Boat, Ken's Furniture, Ken's Computer, one of Ken's Friends, and a key chain made with Ken's balls.'

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Doctor...I Have A Question

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No Sex Tonight

I never quite figured out why the sexual urge of men and women differ so much. And I never have figured out the whole Venus and Mars thing. I have never figured out why men think with their head and women with their heart.

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my girlfriend and I were getting into bed.

Well, the passion starts to heat up, and she eventually says "I don't feel like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT??!! What was that?!"

So she says the words that every boyfriend on the planet dreads to hear... "You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She responded to my puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not what I do for you in the bedroom?"

Realizing that nothing was going to happen that night, I went to sleep.

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time with her. We went out to a nice lunch and then went shopping at a big, big unnamed department store. I walked around with her while she tried on several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new shoes to compliment her new clothes, so I said lets get a pair for each outfit. We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she was testing me because she asked for a tennis bracelet when she doesn't even know how to play tennis. I think I threw her for a loop when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost nearing sexual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear, let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't feel like it."

Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped with a baffled WHAT?"

I then said "honey! I just want you to HOLD this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman." And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having sex tonight either.

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Bangladesh Brick Worker

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Men Are Bad...But Women Are Worse

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To The Women Who Crapped In My Car

We met on Craigslist so I am hoping that this post finds you. I know that it could quite possibly be the most humiliating first date that you have ever been on, but I am willing to look past that.. I thought we had chemistry sitting at McMenamins sharing that basket of Cajun Tots while drinking the Terminator Stout. I really felt like there was a connection there. I found you to be intelligent and witty and looked forward to further conversation with you. At some point in life, everyone has gambled on a fart and lost. It just happened to be on a first date in the passenger seat of my car. Please don't feel bad. The package I sent you with Pepto the next day and the note that said "First dates are always a crap shoot. Call me" was meant to be funny, not offensive. I have gambled on a fart and lost on multiple occasions. The first time I did it was very memorable. It happened when I was five and sitting on my uncle's lap. I am lactose intolerant, but love cheese. I pro! bably win 95% of the time, but I don't think anyone wins 100% of the time. That's why they call it "gambling". I'm the last person to judge you for crapping your pants. In fact, I am impressed by your boldness. The timing on the other hand, could have been a tad bit better...like when you're not sitting on a heated leather seat... What I am trying to say is that if you want to go out again, I would be more than happy to take you someplace where we can get a meal that is high in fiber and less taxing on the digestive tract.

I await your call, Tad

P.S. - If you shit yourself on purpose to end the evening early. Touché

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Monkey With A Death Wish

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New Scarves From China (Possibly NSFW)

Do you sit, unnoticed, on the sidelines while others receive all the praise and attention? Try the latest in high fashion scarves and just see what happens! You too can be the center of attention.

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Top 4 Funniest Commercials

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Best Landing Ever

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Snow

I just hate to find Fu#king snow on my car in the morning...

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5 Things You Never Knew Your Cell Phone Could Do

For all the folks with cell phones. (This should be printed and kept in your car, purse, and wallet. Good information to have with you.)

There are a few things that can be done in times of grave emergencies.

Your mobile phone can actually be a life saver or an emergency tool for survival.

Check out the things that you can do with it:

FIRST
Emergency

The Emergency Number worldwide for Mobile is 112. If you find Yourself out of the coverage area of your mobile network and there is an Emergency, dial 112 and the mobile will search any existing network to Establish the emergency number for you, and interestingly, this number 112 can be dialed even if the keypad is locked. Try it out.

SECOND
Have you locked your keys in the car?

Does your car have remote keyless entry? This may come in handy someday. Good reason to own a cell phone: If you lock your keys In the car and the spare keys are at home, call someone at home on their cell phone from your cell phone. Hold your cell phone about a foot >From your car door and have the person at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the mobile phone on their end. Your car will unlock. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you. Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach someone who has the other 'remote' for your car, you can unlock the doors (or the trunk).

Editor's Note: It works fine! We tried it out and it unlocked our car over a cell phone!'

THIRD
Hidden Battery Power

Imagine your cell battery is very low. To activate, press the keys *3370#. Your cell phone will restart with this reserve and the instrument will show a 50% increase in battery. This reserve will get charged when you charge your cell phone next time.


FOURTH
How to disable a STOLEN mobile phone?

To check your Mobile phone's serial number, key in the following Digits on your phone: *#06#. A 15-digit code will appear on the screen. This number is unique to your handset. Write it down and keep it somewhere safe.

If your phone gets stolen, you can phone your service provider and give them this code. They will then be able to block your handset so even if the thief changes the SIM card, your phone will be totally useless. You probably won't get your phone back, but at least you know that whoever stole it can't use/sell it either. If everybody does this, there would be no point in people stealing mobile phones.

And Finally.....

FIFTH
Free Directory Service for Cells

Cell phone companies are charging us $1.00 to $1.75 or more for 411 information calls when they don't have to. Most of us do not carry a telephone directory in our vehicle, which makes this situation even more of a problem. When you need to use the 411 information option, simply dial: (800)FREE411, or (800) 373-3411 without incurring any charge at all. Program this into your cell phone now.

This is the kind of information people don't mind receiving, so pass it on to your family and friends.

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The Wedding

The wedding day was fast approaching. Nothing could dampen her
excitement- not even her parents' nasty divorce. Her mother had found
the PERFECT dress to wear and would be the best dressed
mother-of-the-bride ever! A week later, the bride was horrified to
learn that her father's new young wife had bought the exact same dress!
She asked her to exchange it, but she refused. "Absolutely not I look
like a million bucks in this dress, and I'm wearing it," she replied.
The worried bride told her mother, who graciously said, "Never mind
sweetheart. I'll get another dress. After all, it's your special day." A
few days later, they went shopping and did find another gorgeous dress.
When they stopped for lunch, the daughter asked her mother, "Aren't you
going to return the other dress? You really don't have another occasion
where you could wear it." Her mother just smiled and replied, "Of course
I do, dear. I'm wearing it to the rehearsal dinner the night before the
wedding!"

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Weird Bathrooms

IMAGINE YOU ARE AT A PARTY...

Tenth floor of a hi-rise building...

AND THEN YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM...

You open the door...

NOW, REMEMBER THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR. KINDA TAKES YOUR BREATH AWAY DOESN'T
IT?



This is a picture of a public toilet in Houston


Now that you've seen the outside view, take a look at the inside view...


It's made entirely of one-way glass!

No one can see you from the outside, but when you are inside it's like sitting in a clear glass box!

Now would you...COULD YOU???

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Cool Building Art

Before...

After...



Before...

After...


Before...

After...


Before...

After...




Before...

After...

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