Martha Stewart: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Old Lady: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it anyway!
Martha Stewart: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Old Lady: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.
Martha Stewart: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake..
Old Lady: Go to the bakery! Hell, they'll even decorate it for you!
Martha Stewart: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'
Old Lady: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'
Martha Stewart: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Old Lady: Celery? Never heard of it!
Martha Stewart: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Old Lady: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't
Martha Stewart: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Old Lady: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! All your pains go away!
Martha Stewart: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dish washing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Old Lady: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.
Martha Stewart:Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Old Lady: Leftover wine? HELLO!!!
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