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Friday, April 4, 2008

My New Car

I bought a new 2008 Jaguar! The next day I was back at the dealer's complaining that I couldn't figure out how the radio worked. The salesman explained that the radio was voice activated.

Watch this, he said:" MILLER!"

The Radio replied; "Glenn, Mitch or Steve?"
"Glenn!" he replied and "Moonlight Serenade" came from the speakers.

Then he said; "Ray Charles;" and in an instant;
" Georgia On My Mind;" replaced Glenn Miller.

I drove away happy, and for the next few days, every time I'd say "Beethoven;" I'd get beautiful classical music, and if I said; " Beatles;" I'd get one of their legendary songs.

Yesterday, a couple ran a red light in front of me and nearly creamed my new car, but I swerved in time to avoid them.

I yelled: "Ass Holes!"

Immediately the French National Anthem began to play, sung by Jane Fonda and Barbara Streisand, backed up by Michael Moore and the Dixie Chicks, with John Kerry on guitar, Al Gore on drums, Dan Rather on harmonica, Nancy Pelosi on tambourine, Harry Reid on spoons, Bill Clinton on sax and Ted Kennedy on scotch.

Damn, I LOVE this new car!

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